A gaggle of fellating fawns

Now that Helen Thomas is gone, we can very well describe the entire White House press corps in this way. They are worthless. They are spineless, supine sycophants. They would be performing a greater service to humanity if they were giving five dollar blow jobs in the Pentagon latrines... Or in Joe Biden's back yard...

Salon: Our hard-core adversarial press corps

Glenn Greenwald pictures quite the scene:

I have no doubt that [The Atlantic's Marc] Ambinder -- who promised that "later today, I'll lay out some thoughts about the ethics of all of this" -- is shortly going to explain to us how getting squirted in the face by Rahm (aside from being fun and deeply pleasurable for him) assists his intrepid journalistic endeavors by building relationships and cementing access (he also reported: "Note, too, that shortly after I shot this video, Emanuel sprayed me in the shirt with his Super Soaker. I have a picture of that, too").

This invites the perfect segue... But, call letters notwithstanding, we have promised to keep this site "softcore at best," so we invite the reader to open two image searches: 'xxx money shots' & 'sawyer blitzer couric gregory stephanopolis etc.' and combine appropriately.

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Now, another party that took place the week previous on the White House lawn was the American Jewish Heritage Celebration Day, upon which Rabbi David Nesenhoff took the opportunity to ask Helen Thomas some questions...

Rabbilive: Helen Thomas Complete (original)

Thomas was the only reporter with a specifically assigned seat in the White House briefing room, which was appropriate since she was really the only reporter who deserved a seat. The daily briefings as broadcast on C-Span are generally uneventful, regurgitated pablum (especially the questions) until the press secretary calls on Helen. She was the one who got to the point. We had noted, at the time, that her question to President Obama during his first press conference - Helen's Question - was basically a trick question to try and get him to admit the verboten truth that Israel has nuclear weapons. Unsurprisingly he evaded the question since it simply isn't kosher to discuss Israel's nukes (in part because the U.S. clandestinely helped Israel acquire its nuclear arsenal; see Secrecy News: GAO Report on the 1965 NUMEC Affair Declassified). Thomas is of Lebanese descent; as such, she has never shown the same deference to Israel's interests as do her colleagues in the press corps. As her lines of questioning on the subject of Israel and the Palestinian question have been increasingly pointed in recent years, we would wouldn't be surprised if there were an AIPAC instigated campaign to "get Helen!"

And so the end result was sadly predictable...

CNN: White House correspondent Helen Thomas retires amid controversial comment

Meanwhile...

@ http://twitter.com/edhenrycnn - afternoon of June 5...

@WolfBlitzerCNN had sort of dried off @DanLothianCNN and I had her boys get him w/the water guns http://yfrog.com/28db0j 1,275,774,514,000.00 via Twitter for iPhone

.stay tuned for possible @WolfBlitzerCNN drenched pic ..
1,275,773,768,000.00 via web

.@WolfBlitzerCNN also lost water gun fight to Rahm ... but maybe he lost on purpose to butter up chief of staff for a POTUS interview ..
1,275,773,449,000.00 via web

.@ArdyB yes, change of clothes and all dry after water gun fights. My son & @DanLothianCNN 's son shot up ol' @WolfBlitzerCNN pretty bad ..
1,275,773,359,000.00 via web in reply to ArdyB

http://twitvid.com/B09AW - Video of VP Biden flying down a water slide -- exclusive!
3:59 PM Jun 5th via API

.Rahm was chasing Mrs Biden & she hid behind me so i got in his crosshairs -- now i know how Sestak felt http://yfrog.com/28dqlj
3:54 PM Jun 5th via Twitter for iPhone

.A little girl just hit VP in face with water. Secret Service hasnt detained her. Yet. http://yfrog.com/b9dy6j 3:42 PM Jun 5th via Twitter for iPhone

.Uh-oh now VP Biden's got a (water) gun -- the Secret Service appears to be laughing http://yfrog.com/09j3snj
3:40 PM Jun 5th via Twitter for iPhone

.Mrs Biden trying to shoot me and @savannahguthrie at "Biden Beach" party at the VP's mansion http://yfrog.com/evy9mj